The Magician.

Gather around everyone, I am going to show you a trick. In front of you lies a coffin, next to it a set of nails and a hammer. Don't be fooled by the rags I wear, I can truly make things disappear. It's not an illusion, its not a trick. It's real magic. 

I am going to lie in the coffin, I want you to shut the door, don't panic if I shriek a little, it gets pretty dark, pretty quickly, and I am a little claustrophobic. You might wonder why I am doing this if I am scared of this grim box. It has to be done, the box will take me to salvation, you will all see the magic I hold. 

I want you to nail the box shut. My breath is probably going to be getting shorter and faster, I might knock a little, ignore it. Its time to lower the coffin in to the ground, I have already asked someone to dig 6 feet deep. There may be screams and pleads by now, but that's just animal instincts, I know this has to be done to make you believe me. Start putting the dirt back in, the screams will slowly get in audible, its basic physics you see, the sound waves have more mass to travel through, creating vibrations through this amount of mass dissipates more of the already limited energy- considering I can't breathe properly any more- Keep listening though, Its going to sound like I seriously want to be let out now, but wait. 

We are reaching the finale now, drum roll, wait for it, wait for it. The screams end. Did you see that? I made the pain disappear. 

The Game of Hope.

As custom dictates, I should be acknowledging the fact that this is my first post this year, so I hope every one of you is having a good year so far, and will continue to do great things, which are worth remembering. Forgive me from diverting from the norms and not listing down the new year resolutions that I have so thoughtfully made, which will probably not materialise. Instead this post is about a feeling that seems to be an integral part of everyone's life and yet is so intangible and multi-dimensional that I fail to understand the extent to which one should let it bloom. That particular feeling is of Hope. There's an old saying in Urdu, امید پہ دنیا قائم ہے (umeed pai dunya qaa'im hai),  which translates to the world is existing on hope, that explains how important hope is for mankind. From serious things like hoping to be alive the next moment, to trivial matters like hoping to get more of the purple jelly beans in a box, we all need hope. But I am here to figure out when one needs to stop hoping. 

Understanding when our hopes and expectations become unreasonable is beyond me, fine rationale can be a guiding compass but at times one needs to defy logic and act upon faith alone to get by without being depressed, or even worse, suicidal. So at those times, hope is good, hope is what we need. But as every businessman knows oh so well, with every venture there is a probability of loss, and the successful businessmen are those who take smart risks realising these losses. Similarly, when you hope, surely there is a part of you that is expecting heart break, yes they say that having complete faith can(or maybe they use the word 'will') get you what you want, but I have my doubts, don't get me wrong, faith is good, but for something you believe in a hundred percent, whilst accepting the underlying possibility of heart break.

Now I believe that one can only take so much heart break, and thus it will be wise to not make hope one's first step when doing things, instead it is better to do all one can before hoping for things to turn out in their favour. So how do we know when hope is vain? The best way to learn something is from experience, so from experience I can say, that hoping for someone you love, to love you back in the same way is one of those times when one needs to stop hoping. If you think about someone all the time, it'd be nice to know that they think about you too, but its foolish to hope for such things to happen, because then you're just paving your way towards depression. Another one of these instances which perplex me too great degrees is, when is the right time to stop hoping for someone to come back and just let them go? 

When you love someone, and I mean truly love someone, if they leave you, how do you not hope for them to come back? But then comes the time when this hope makes you dysfunctional, it disables you to love again and when that time comes, I think its best to say that hope is not your friend anymore. Here too the same rules applied in the beginning, when to hope was equivalent to breathe, but now its doing the opposite. Here, I want to mention something which was actually the reason why this particular thought process began in my mind. This isn't about loss of love, its more about life, or lack thereof. 

I have a cousin, who is battling Cancer, and its been such a roller coster ride for her, with many lows and a few highs, and for those who know her, especially her mother, hope is all that there is, the doctors say they are trying their best, some treatments show results, others don't. Several times has she come to the brink of losing this battle and the last time that happened, which wasn't too long ago, talk became circulating how 'there was no hope for her' and at this point.... (I don't think I can get myself to say it) things didn't look too good. I personally didn't go to see her in ICU when she was on a ventilator, but from those who went I heard how there was pain in her eyes, how she was suffering and while she was unable to move tears rolled down her cheeks. It was a decisive moment for her husband, the doctor suggested an expensive treatment, which had a very little chance of being successful. He had to decide if it was time to let go and end her suffering, or go with the treatment. And I am glad he made the decision he did. 

He decided to go with it, and in this matter hope did take us through and even though she isn't in a good condition yet, at least she is not in the hospital anymore. This got me thinking. I really want to tell you that I have a better conclusion for you, but I don't, all I have are a few questions so take it for what it is. When do you know it's time to let go? How do you pull the plugs on someone's life and then live with it? and perhaps the biggest question yet, When does hope become the enemy? 

P.S. This one is for my cousin, Zehra Sajjad, she's 32, has a 6 year-old son and is still battling. She needs all the prayers she can get, please pray for her. And while hope still keeps us afloat, I am confident prayers will propel us ashore. 

غمیں نہ ہو کہ بہت دور ہیں ابھی باقی

نئےستاروں سے خالی نہیں سپہر کبود

  داکٹڑ علامہ محمد اقبالؔ 

(Don't be sad that there is a long time to go

The blue sky isn't short of new stars

Dr. Allama Muhammad Iqbal.)

Untitled.

Where am I? 


What is this place? 


How did I get here?


I can hardly keep my eyes open, the lights are too bright, I can hear the air conditioner running on full blast, that should explain the goosebumps on my arms. 


What's that smell? Smell's like the balm I use when my nose is blocked. 


My cheeks hurt, hmm cracked skin, have I been crying? My eyes are strained too, I probably was, but why? 


Dad's on my right, he looks sad, why is he looking at me like that? My brother's on my left, but he's not looking at me, What's he looking at? 


Mom? Why are you lying there? Get up! 


Maa please, it's getting dark.

Something is Coming.

Hey all,

I wrote this piece sometime last year, during the cyclone Phet fiasco, I haven't changed it a lot except a few gramatical errors here and there, I hope you enjoy it.

Hassan.





Something is Coming.

Cyclone Phet packing sustained winds of 130 mph is moving towards the coasts of Oman and is expected to change its direction towards the coast of Pakistan in the next 48 hours. The intensity of the cyclone is expected to decrease as it hits Pakistan, but what if it doesn't? What if, this is what we all have been waiting for? What if this is divine justice and with in a week's time the city will be liberated of it's criminals? Like the flood that the people of Noah was warned of, this is a warning for all the wrong doers, the oppressors the dastardly villains creating havoc in the streets of Karachi to back off and board 'the ark' before its too late.

And indeed We sent Nuh (Noah) to his people (and he said): "I have come to you as a plain warner." 

Al-Quran (11:25)

From the pistol bearing young man on a motor bike to the power bearing 50-something year old politician in a white shalwar kameez, there's a lesson to be learnt. It is imperative that God frees the innocent from the tyranny of those who use their power as arsenal against the common man. Day in day out, the common man is being forced to compromise his life, his integrity and his very existence. Whilst the government is busy in planning for the 2010-2011 budget and creating more ways to loot him, he man worries if he'd even be alive the next hour let alone the next day.

Perhaps death is the easy way out. Who wants to live like this? Who wants to worry about the rising inflation and the loss of jobs? Isn't it better to just admit defeat and end ones life? Or maybe robbing some one at gunpoint sounds like a better alternative? There is a choice that people make without realising the repercussions. Without realising how what ever they do affects people. I guess survival instincts force people to be selfish, to put their needs above those of others and as long as there is food on the table who cares how many people die?

Of course the people in power are to be blamed. They are just not doing enough. Its funny how every one in the 'system' is willing to sell their pride, their morals over a few hundred rupees. It's those in power who exploit the common man and create obstacles which require a few strategies involving money and special favours. So yes, Phet is coming and let us all build our arks and wait for this natural catharsis to hit the city and cleanse it from these selfish scoundrels.

He said: "Only Allah will bring it (the punishment) on you, if He will, and then you will escape not."

Al-Quran (11:33)

So the time is here. Let us lock ourselves indoors, duct tape the windows and brace ourselves for what lies ahead . The cyclone has reached the coast, people near the beach are already experiencing heavy showers, many houses in clifton and defence have roofs falling and are now vulnerable to the hand of God. There is a huge villa there, which belongs to a particular MP, look, the three storey marvel is shaking, the roof has a whole in it, can you hear glass breaking? Maybe this is a sign, Phet will indeed relieve us of all our troubles. winds are getting stronger, I can hear the rain hitting on the window while I sit here in my basement. Obviously I have nothing to worry about, I am on the ark, but that's more than I can say for that sheikh living next door. He has a lot of things he needs to account for. Bang! I think that was the sound of the tree in their garden falling on his new S-Class Merc. Serves him right, that money came from no good place.

Wait, whats happening… the shaking is getting worse, I can't hear anything any more, there is too much noise. What was that? did the dining table glass just break? This cannot be happening, I thought I was on the arc.

Life's Grave Ending.

The biggest paradox of life is death, in fact that is the only certainty, the only guarantee we're given when we come to this world, that you will leave. Sounds like a mean prank played by someone, you come here, you build a life, you build relationships and before you know it, you're lying in the dark waiting for yourself to decompose (burning to ashes and being eaten by fish is also a possibility). I am distressed as to how seriously I should  take the ordeal of death considering its so common that each and every one of us gets it sooner or later. I remember this play of Shakespeare in which he builds it up to the point the protagonist's love dies and without giving the audience a real chance to grieve for the loss of poor Ophelia he employs clowns as grave diggers putting in comic relief at the expense of her death. I thought hey, maybe death isn't that serious of a matter, but upon close scrutiny I found otherwise. 


I have lost people in this life and so I understand that it doesn't matter how certain death is, its still sad business and perhaps Shakespeare was mocking society for making such a joke of the situation, for they discuss something that was earlier soliloquised with utmost seriousness and now he injects dark comedy in the play. So as "all the world's a stage" I guess there are those amongst us who decrease the intensity of death, by making 'logical deductions' which to me seem most illogical, for even logic accepts the fact that to those close to the deceased an integral part of  their life is gone and it's a normal reaction to be upset and grave. Here a verse from the poetry of Khwaja Mir Dard comes to mind;

درد دل کے واسطے پیدا کیا انسان کو

ورنہ طاعت کے لیے کچھ کم نہ تھے کروبیاں

(Dard-e-dil kai wastai paida kia insaan ko

Warna ta'at kai liyay kuch kum na thay kar-o-byan)

This roughly translates to; the reason why mankind was brought to this world is to share each other's heart aches, since there are enough angels for worshipping God.

This could be referring to the philosophy that our soul being a part of God's 'Nur' (Light) longs to go back to that source and thus the life of this world is a constant heartache for the soul. It could also be talking about the expulsion of man from the Garden of Eden mentioned extensively in a lot of literary works such as in Milton's "Paradise Lost" or in Iqbal's countless poems. But not going in to the philosophy in literal terms the verse talks of man's duty to be there for one another in time of sorrow, and I cannot think of  a greater sorrow than death. 

There's a law of science which states;  what goes up must come down. And so is the case with us, we have to go back one day (unless of course for you this world is IT) so before we go let's make most of it. Now making money could be one goal in life, but I have noticed, those who worked on their people skills more than their earning skills are revered by all left behind. We lost one such man recently, my cousin, my brother and honestly a true source of knowledge and inspiration. The man had very little flaws if any and left us too soon, his departure has left a hole in a lot of people's hearts' and we are grieving, and though his absence will always be felt I have faith that he is in a better world now. 

In the Loving Memory of;

Ali Asghar Khoja

24.12.1979 - 16.03.2011