I wonder...

I am here to drop a little word about something I was wondering, in fact this post is being written on my phone since I really had to get it out there before I might lose the spark. So consider this a fair warning that what you are about to read may not be one of my more eloquent posts or as orchestrated as the rest(that is if my work justifies the word).
So I was listening to this hindi song that goes; rotai huai atai hain sab, hasta huwa jo jaiga, wo muqadar ka sikandar jaan meri kehlaay ga. (Everyone comes crying, but the one who leaves laughing, would be the one who has defeated {appropriate word?} Fate). I have always thought this song has some profound meaning and isn't like all the other nonsense stuff we heard. And it got me thinking, is life really supposed to be sad? Is fate really the enemy here? And if so why is suicide such a crime (now I am not thinking about killing myself if that's what you're wondering)?
There are theories out there about what some call 'the human condition' about man's(I am not sexist, but the english language seems to agree upon man representing our race collectively) never ending search for truth and meaning in their life, the daunting questions of who brought me here and why. And a theory that I particularly enjoy is that man is destined to be, in plain words, sad in this world since he has left a world which, we hear, is much better than this one. When all the odd's are against us are we really supposed to live?
As far as I can see (which might not be very far) this world is extremely beautiful, and in layman's term it is heaven on earth, for the best thing we can think of, probably exists in this world but maybe unattainable, and at times the whole point of going to heaven seems to be to get those things that we want here but cannot get. Although personally I tend to see it differently, honestly I am God-fearing, but not afraid of hell, of course I don't want to go to hell but I don't think I know what hell is. So I do not concentrate too much on hell and heaven at this point. I do feel that this life takes a toll on me a lot of times, and I don't think I should ever mind not living another day, I am thankful for this life I have. And I know I should put it in proportion with the hardships others have, but I can't help but feel that in a way this world is a disappointment, and I would not mind leaving it as soon as my time comes.
By that I don't mean that I am just surviving and not living, because there are things that I want in life, I do have goals and aspirations. I should hope that what I feel is the longing of my soul to return to the light its a part of and not brush that longing aside.
That's all I think. I don't have a conclusion for you, because there is none, I have to live, strive, but I guess something to work towards maybe leaving a mark before I actually leave?

آزاد پاکستان؟

 

کہتے ہیں آج پاکستان بنا تھا۔ ہندستان کے مسلمانوں نے آزادی حاصل کی تھی، لیکن کیا ہم سچ میں آزاد ہیں؟ اور اگر ہیں تو کیا ہم نے اس آزادی کا صحیح استعمال کیا ہے؟ اور کیا ہم نے ان قربانیوں کا حق ادا کیا ہے؟

یہ وہ سوال ہیں جو میں سمجھتا ہوں آج ہر پاکستانی کو اپنے زمیر سے پوچھنے چاہیے۔

ہر ترف افرا تفری پھیلی ہوی ہے، بھایٔ بھایٔ کا دشمن ہو گیا ہے اور جان و مال کا تحفض اب کنابی باتیں لگتی ہیں۔ ہر انسان یاں تو خود مجبور اور لاچار ہے یاں پھر کسی اور کا جینا محال کر رہا ہے، بیبسی کا آلم یہ ہے کہ مایٔں اپنی گودیاں اجاڑ کر خود کو ختم کر رہیں ہیں لیکن ہم آج بھی اس غلط فہمی میں جی رہے ہیں کے ہم آزاد ہیں۔ سب کی سوچوں پر تالا لگا ہوا ہے، اور ہم اب بھی، رنگ، نسل، زبان، سیاسی تعلقات، مزہب اور معاشی حالات میں اٹکے ہوے ہیں۔ 

یہ مٹؔی خون کے آنسوں رو رہی ہے، اور ساری خدائ ہم سے ناراض ہے، ایک درندا زرد آری لیے اس ملک کو پاش پاش کر رہا ہےاور ہم ہاتھوں میں ہاتھ لیے ان سیاہ آندھیوں کے ٹلنے کا انتظار کر رہے ہیں، یاد رہے، خدا ان قوموں کی مدد نہیں کرتا جو آپ اپنی مدد نہیں کرتیں۔

زرا سوچو اس وطن نے تمہیں کیا کیا دیا ہے، تم یہاں پہلے درجے کے شہری ہو، تمہیں یہاں مسلمان ہونے پر کوئ شک کی نظر سے نہیں دیکھتا۔ اپنا زہن کھولو، مہنت کو بےایمانی کے اپر ترجیح دو اور اپنا کام کرتے رہو تاقہ جب اپنے رب کے پاس لوٹوں تو اسے جواب دے سکو۔ میں یہ ہرگز نہیں کہتا کہ میں ایک بہترین انسان ہوں، کیوںکہ میں نہیں ہوں، لیکن میں کوشش کرنے کا حامل ہوں۔ 

جاتے جاتے بس یہ کہوں گا کہ تعلیم کو عام کرو اور پھر دیکھو یہ ملک کیسے آگے بڑھتا ہے۔

 

روح ارضی آدم کا اسِتقبال کرتی ہے  

 علامہ محمد اقبال

کھول آنکھ، زمیں دیکھ، فلک دیکھ، فضا دیکھ               مشرق سے ابھرتے ہوے سورج کو ذرا دیکھ 

اس جلوۂ بے پردہ کو پردوں میں چھپا دیکھ                     ایّامِ جُدائی کے ستم دیکھ، جفا دیکھ

بے تاب نہ ہو، معرکۂ بیم و رجا دیکھ 


ہیں تیرے تصرّف میں یہ بادل، یہ گھٹائیں                        یہ گنبدِ افلاک، یہ خاموش فضائیں

 یہ کوہ، یہ صحرا، یہ سمندر، یہ ہوائیں                      تھیں پیشِ نظر کل تو فرشتوں کی ادائیں 

آئینۂ ایّام میں آج اپنی ادا دیکھ
  

سمجھے گا زمانہ تری آنکھوں کے اشارے               دیکھیں گے تجھے دُور سے گردوں کے ستارے

ناپید ترے بحرِ تخیّل کے کنارے                             پہنچیں گے فلک تک تری آہوں کے شرارے 

تعمیرِ خودی کر، اثر اہِ رسا دیکھ 


خورشیدِ جہاں تاب کی ضو تیرے شرر میں                       آباد ہے اک تازہ جہاں تیرے ہنر میں 

جچتے نہیں بخشے ہوئے فردوس نظر میں                       جنّت تری پنہاں ہے ترے خونِ جگر میں 

اے پیکرِ گِل کوششِ پہیم کی جزا دیکھ


نالندہ ترے عُود کا ہر تار ازل سے                               تو جنسِ محبّت کا خریدار ازل سے

یو پیرِ صنم خانۂ اسرار ازل سے                            محنت کش و خونریز و کم آزار ازل سے 

ہے راکبِ تقدیر جہاں تیری رضا دیکھ

Helplessness.

Something horrible happened today, and I would like to share it with the world. Firstly I do not think I can describe what I feel right now but the tears rolling down my face are testament to the fact that what ever this particular emotion is, it is quite strong. 


So there is this sweet little girl that helps around the house, she's quite young and its one of the issues in Pakistan, i.e. child labour, and an ideal situation would be one in which we don't have to employ such young children to clean up after ourselves, but for now I console myself with things which may or may not be so substantial. I tell my self that if she doesn't work here, her mother will make her work somewhere else, and we are good people, we clothe her, feed her and give her shelter so essentially we're offering her a better lifestyle than what she has at home. That suffices for now. 


Any way, somewhere around 5 p.m I thought I heard someone cry outside my door while I was in my room, I shook it off thinking it was the TV, and I so wish that was true, but it wasn't. Well I had to leave my room for some reason and as I passed by the kitchen I saw some red blots on the floor. I thought it was red chili powder and dismissed it. Moments later the little girl was running down the stairs with tears in her eyes and holding a blood drenched tissue in her hands. My first thoughts, shock. I asked her what happened and before waiting for a reply I ran upstairs to call my mother. We asked her to sit down, gave her rolls of tissue to press the wound and cleaned up. I cannot emphasise this enough, the floor was RED, it was a dreadful sight, I cry as I recall it, but in that moment, all was calm, we got her to eat a little while we mopped the floors and drained it with water. After that, mum took her to the doctor and the poor thing got around ten stitches on her fingers. She was doing the dishes when she accidentally broke a glass and cut herself. 


I try to block out the images of her standing there bleeding and crying in shock and pain whilst I thought it was the TV, and some how I feel responsible. This is so unfair, if something like this were to happen to me, I am so sure I would have my family around me all the time, and although we try to keep her happy by taking her out and asking her not to do any work, it cannot substitue the need of her family, she needs her mother right now, and the worst part is she doesn't realise that, I guess she is stronger than I am, she giggles and smiles like nothing's wrong while I am clearly traumatised.


I think I would like to do something, something to help her and perhaps feel a bit less guilty than what I do right now. So we feed her, shelter her and clothe her, but that isn't enough, it's time we took responsibility of educating her. I would like to teach her how to read, I know mum has tried to find her a tutor but not hard enough, not like its her own child and so I think for now I would like to make myself useful by teaching her what I can teach her. Illiteracy is a huge issue that needs to be dealt with, just because we were born in privileged houses doesn't mean we have all the rights to every thing good. Education is a basic human need and its the right of every person to get an education, and if those in power aren't doing anything about it, let us use, the little power we have, to try and make a difference.


p.s. Getting it out there makes me feel better, well my nose is still running but my cheeks are dry so thats a good thing. 

The Inconvenient Truth.

Happy Sunday everyone! hope the week-end's going well and the following week is tolerable. So today, I went out with my dad to take care of some household chores and get a haircut (personally I hate getting haircuts, but for some reason those around me force me to go). While I was en route the meat shop I looked around to see hundreds of faces, and I mean actually looked as in creepy stalker looked. What I saw was a shocking revelation, the people in this city have forgotten how to smile. Out of a sea of some hundred people I think I detected a slight grin on two or three faces.


Makes me sad really, all I could see were vacant eyes and wrinkled foreheads, here I would like to add that personally I think wrinkles are a great thing, they give character to your face, but in this particular case wrinkles around the eyes would have been better news than what I actually witnessed. Now its not a discovery I have made, its all around us, the people of Karachi can very well see what I saw. So as we were driving along and I was forming this post in my head I remembered that amidst all the brain activity, I myself had raised brows and an intense look on my face, so here I took a pause and smiled. 


When we reached our first destination, dad got off to do what ever it was he had to do, and I sat in the car with the AC on, listening to Abida Ji and trying to figure out what the real problem was, well there are moments where I would like to think of my self as a deep thinker, but I have been told my mind in most cases comes to a quick outcome and that's what happened in this case too. I listed the causes of this perpetual frown that plagues our society as follow; depression, poverty, tension, frustration, sense of helplessness, heart ache, etceteras , etceteras. 


Our last stop was the Hair Dresser's Salon. As the car parked I remember thinking, 'I hope the AC's on' and as we got towards the door I realised the generator was on and in fact the AC's were not working. With no hair dresser free we sat ourselves down and waited our turn, at that very moment, with the sweat running down my face I had an epiphany, the heat made it impossible to smile. When for a second I felt bad for those who didn't enjoy the privileges I got, I decided to try and not look pissed. So I guess that was the answer I was looking for, people don't smile because they cannot. Yes everyone has problems, big and small, but one thing that everyone on the streets shared was the unbearable heat that surrounded them. So it turns out that apart from everything else that is screwing us over even mother nature is not on our side. 


The heat does not take away from the fact that our society has some deep psychological issues, major depression keep us in the dark and makes us bitter, with everything working against us perhaps it is God's wrath or just plain bad luck. But I would like to say that take a break, remember those things you learnt when you were young, about less facial muscles being utilised to smile, and what you learnt when you grew a little older, that smiling makes you look better. I know I wouldn't write if I didn't have something to say so I could be très dramatic and exhort you to smile and make someone else's day brighter(not literally, the sun's bright enough Thank you!) but I will put it in simple words, please smile as much as you can. 

'Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by'

 John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons

Something is Coming.

Hey all,

I wrote this piece sometime last year, during the cyclone Phet fiasco, I haven't changed it a lot except a few gramatical errors here and there, I hope you enjoy it.

Hassan.





Something is Coming.

Cyclone Phet packing sustained winds of 130 mph is moving towards the coasts of Oman and is expected to change its direction towards the coast of Pakistan in the next 48 hours. The intensity of the cyclone is expected to decrease as it hits Pakistan, but what if it doesn't? What if, this is what we all have been waiting for? What if this is divine justice and with in a week's time the city will be liberated of it's criminals? Like the flood that the people of Noah was warned of, this is a warning for all the wrong doers, the oppressors the dastardly villains creating havoc in the streets of Karachi to back off and board 'the ark' before its too late.

And indeed We sent Nuh (Noah) to his people (and he said): "I have come to you as a plain warner." 

Al-Quran (11:25)

From the pistol bearing young man on a motor bike to the power bearing 50-something year old politician in a white shalwar kameez, there's a lesson to be learnt. It is imperative that God frees the innocent from the tyranny of those who use their power as arsenal against the common man. Day in day out, the common man is being forced to compromise his life, his integrity and his very existence. Whilst the government is busy in planning for the 2010-2011 budget and creating more ways to loot him, he man worries if he'd even be alive the next hour let alone the next day.

Perhaps death is the easy way out. Who wants to live like this? Who wants to worry about the rising inflation and the loss of jobs? Isn't it better to just admit defeat and end ones life? Or maybe robbing some one at gunpoint sounds like a better alternative? There is a choice that people make without realising the repercussions. Without realising how what ever they do affects people. I guess survival instincts force people to be selfish, to put their needs above those of others and as long as there is food on the table who cares how many people die?

Of course the people in power are to be blamed. They are just not doing enough. Its funny how every one in the 'system' is willing to sell their pride, their morals over a few hundred rupees. It's those in power who exploit the common man and create obstacles which require a few strategies involving money and special favours. So yes, Phet is coming and let us all build our arks and wait for this natural catharsis to hit the city and cleanse it from these selfish scoundrels.

He said: "Only Allah will bring it (the punishment) on you, if He will, and then you will escape not."

Al-Quran (11:33)

So the time is here. Let us lock ourselves indoors, duct tape the windows and brace ourselves for what lies ahead . The cyclone has reached the coast, people near the beach are already experiencing heavy showers, many houses in clifton and defence have roofs falling and are now vulnerable to the hand of God. There is a huge villa there, which belongs to a particular MP, look, the three storey marvel is shaking, the roof has a whole in it, can you hear glass breaking? Maybe this is a sign, Phet will indeed relieve us of all our troubles. winds are getting stronger, I can hear the rain hitting on the window while I sit here in my basement. Obviously I have nothing to worry about, I am on the ark, but that's more than I can say for that sheikh living next door. He has a lot of things he needs to account for. Bang! I think that was the sound of the tree in their garden falling on his new S-Class Merc. Serves him right, that money came from no good place.

Wait, whats happening… the shaking is getting worse, I can't hear anything any more, there is too much noise. What was that? did the dining table glass just break? This cannot be happening, I thought I was on the arc.

People.

I come here for I've realised something and it has hit me so hard I need to let people know. As the heading suggests it's about people. A remarkable race we are, with so many types of people amongst us that quite literally define the superlatives running our lives. And a particular breed of people I want to talk about are so important for all of us it's hard to imagine life without them.


I want you to close your eyes(after you read this particular sentence of course) take a deep breath and think for a second, about what your biggest dream or achievement is and I want you to really think not just pretend, and once your done open your eyes and read on. Now imagine the route to that dream or achievement IF we didn't have any soldiers. Its something most of us can relate to, I am a Pakistani and I know if there weren't those who've made the goal of their life to die for me I would not be sitting here right this moment. With all the wars we've had with India who knows where we would have ended up if we were a nation with out an army, similarly, places like Iraq and Afghanistan couldn't defend themselves from internal and external attacks and we all know how they've ended up. Do you think you could be doing what ever it is that you love to do if you were living in Baghdad? So more or less it's a universal idea.


I can imagine how in todays so called 'civilised' world countries have obligations and they defend themselves while being a part of this universal web of conspiracies and schemes. It seems that everyone handling the state affairs seems to be in on the joke and the people just wait and watch, and that may make the existence of an army stupid, but I owe a debt of gratitude to all the people that have given their lives for my country and so do you. Think about it, we're the ones who wonder what we can do for our country whilst these people guard our borders without any personal agenda of their own. I dont know what goes through their minds, who wants to die protecting other people? And how can they defy their human instincts of survival and literally be in the line of fire being face to face with the reality that most of us ignore; we may not be alive the next second. I get CHILLS. 


Here I would like to make one thing clear, I do not think having military arsenal and thus wars is the way to go, it'd be great if all of us agree on everything and take care of our neighbours and not rob different countries of their resources(under the canopy of a war on terror) but that's the harsh reality, like high school this world has its bullies and we need to take a stand and speak up or else we may be silenced forever. 


So remember every time a soldier dies while you are still alive, make sure you thank them, you owe them so much more but acknowledging their sacrifice is the least you can do. For they are people who die to make your dreams come true. 

The Joys of Stumbling.

Those who know me know how stagnant my life is right now. Long story short, I am taking an involuntary gap year before uni, and I am always in search of 'things to do'. So any way I stumbled upon this list, which includes the names of the 100 best books ever written. So that's another task I am willing to take on and hopefully I shall succeed with in this year.


Now I have no delusions of fame and so I do not expect to set a deadline and become the next Julie Powell, for I would hate to constrict myself with a deadline. I honestly feel that a book must be felt and not just read, I cannot tell you the happiness engrossed reading has brought me and so I start.


Now for the future of that task. I decided to not clutter this blog(which is for pouring my heart out) and so I have created a separate portal  and from now on I shall summarise and analyse the text I read over there.


Coming to the list this is where I stand, the works I have already read;
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.
Hamlet by William Shakespeare.


The texts I own so shall soon follow;
To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
Iliad by Homer
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë


p.s. I would like to thank my dear friend who introduced me to the idea of stumbling, you know who you are.